Photos w Crushie! ♥

 

 

Yup, I covered our faces there because of some... hehe! Anyways, that's during our PE Interclass where he's the player and I'm his fangirl slash teammate slash photographer slash girlfriend. And the last part was just a joke. Lol. *kilig*

 

What's w the umbrella thing?

There is this old manong (redundant? hehe) tricycle driver here in our village na I always ride on his tricycle tuwing palabas ako. Ilang times ko na din siya nasasakyan everytime I go outside. The last time was early this morning then yesterday din. And you know what he's always asking me? "May dala ka bang payong?" Same question everytime I ride on his tricycle. Minsan minumukaan niya pa ko bago magtanong. Tas pag tinitigan niya ko, I already know what's next. Then I'll answer him, "Meron po, nasa bag ko." "Aah, buti naman. Sige."

I can still remember nung unang tinanong niya ko about it. I don't think  that's the first time I ride on his tricycle, but it's the first time he asked me about my umbrella. And not only my umbrella, but some realizations for me, I guess.

Manong Driver:"May payong ka ba, ne?" (Because it's raining that time)
Me:"Meron po, nasa bag."
Manong Driver:"San ka nagtatrabaho?"
Me:"Nag-aaral pa lang po ako."
Manong Driver:"Anong course mo?"
Me:"Masscomm po."
Manong Driver:"San ka nag-aaral?"
Me:"PCU po."
Manong Driver:"Ah. Magtapos ka ah. Wag ka muna mag-asawa. Pag nag-asawa ka agad, sasabunutan kita."
Me:"Opo. Hehe."

Yup, he said that. And I will not forgot what he had said to me that day. That made me realize that I really need to finish my study because there people who look up to me and they want to see me successful. Not only manong driver but also my family.

And Manong Driver always asking me if I have an umbrella everytime I'm his passenger whether it's raining or not, and still I don't know why. But good thing I always bring my umbrella in my bag. Hehee! And don't worry manong driver, I will not get married until I reach 28. And of course until I didn't find the man that I will spend my life with. Haha! I promise to look for you when I finally finish my studies and have a good job. Thanks for reminding me! :)

Pokers ♥

I don't usually talk about them here. Because obviously, I always blog my stressful and heartbreaking moments only. But it doesn't mean that I forget them already. They will always have a space in my heart. Cheesy!

So POKERS are my friends since 3rd yr highschool. I forgot when and why we became friends. All I know is that the group was made last Nov 1, 2009 by I don't know who among them made it. Haha! And you know why we chose the name "POKERS"? Long story. Haha. But I'm not the one who chose it. Ewan ko sakanila. Basta, we came from different sections that time. Oh, wait. Only St. Boniface and St. Lorenzo. Ya! Most of us came from Boniface while the rest are from Lorenzo. So basically, "bestfriends" mga sections namin that time. Or kami lang? Hehe. Kasama ng Boni ang Enzo when it comes to kalokohan. And we're part of it, of course.

Syempre nagaaway-away din kami. I remember that one time when they stopped talking with each other. Yung walang pansinan. And I don't know what happened. I don't have any idea how it started. Basta magkakasama kami nung recess but still walang pansinan. Weird! But gladly, yun palang yung nagging ayaw namin. Actually hindi siya away. It was just a tampuhan. Away bata. Hehe.

Then nung 4th yr high, nagkahiwa-hiwalay na kami. Separated ang sections namin because we don't block sections during highschool. So whether you like it or not, you are not able to choose your section. So, ayun nga. We spread out, but the friendship still remains. The kalokohan remains.

And then the graduation came. At syempre, we need to separate ways. Hindi naman pwedeng pare-parehas kami ng university na papasukan. Pwede naman, but mahirap. Basta hindi pala pwede. Ayun, goodbye highschool memories and hello, college!

The last time we were complete was during Emang's 18th. And that was also the first time we met after graduation. So sobrang precious ng araw na yun. Tas after that, hindi na naulit.

I'm sure nagkikita-kita naman sila cause they are all from Tondo. And nakita ko sila ulit last week. And it was not planned nor napag-usapan. Biglaan lang. Tapos nagkaron ng "reunion" daw which is hindi ako nakapunta because may biglaan lakad ang fam. 😩 So ayun, malaungkot syempre pero they know naman my reason why they don't see me more often. Bukod sa busy kami lahat, I live in a far far away land.

But my love for them will never change kahit madami akong group of friends. I have Superfriends, Tropang Bigatin, Ambrose, Boniface, College friends, etc. Oh, diba! Ms. Congeniality award goes to me!! 👸 The hardest part having lots of group of fiends is when you didn't how to manage your time especially your money. Mahirap! Masakit sa bulsa and isa lang ang body ko. So, kung magkasabay-sabay man ang lakad, I really need to choose where I will go. And that's what I hate. So, hangga't kaya kong I-manage, I will.

And that's it! More stories of Pokers to come! It's still Nov 1, so Happy Pokers Day!! I love you guys from the Bikini Bottom of my heart! I can't wait not to say "I miss yous" anymore kasi nga we are able to see each other more often na. So for now, I miss you, guys already and see you soonest, loves!! 💕💋

(Count on me now playing... 🎧)

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HAPPY 4 YEARS AND COUNTING!! 👏👌👊👍 HAPPY POKERS DAY! 😘💕❤🎆🎈🎂💩😍♥

3rd year college

Eto yung time na mafefeel mo na college ka na talaga. 

Yung tipong first day na first day at di mo pa nalalanghap amoy ng room, classmate at prof mo, eh may sandamakmak na assignments ka na. 

Dito yung mas tumitindi mga drama ng mga taong nakapaligid sayo. Yung tipong nasa totoong buhay ka naman at wala sa teleserye pero kung makapag-inarte mga tao daig pa eksena sa Ina, Kapatid, Anak. 

Pag 3rd yr, karamihan lumalablyf na. Legal age na eh! May mga nagkakaron, meron ding nawawalan. May mga tao namang wala naman silang problema ng jowa nila pero nag-iisip padin ng ipoproblema at pagaawayan nila tapos mag-aaway tapos magb-break tpaos mag-dadrama sa twitter, facebook, tumblr at di pa pinatawad, pati sa GM! Bakit nga ba? Para lambingin? Tsss. O, para IN? Eh, pano kung matuluyan? Shot at iyak nalang. 

Buti pa ko tropa tropa chill lang huehuehue. Lolsie

Sa 3rd yr din nagkakalabasan ng kasipagan. Syempre, bawal na umasa sa tropa. Kung pasado ka at bagsak sila, ganun talaga! Paunahan nalang grumaduate. Hehe


Dito din lumalabas mga talento ng bawat isa. Dito mas tumataas yung pressure. Bawal mag-procastinate dahil for sure, di ka aabot dahil sa 3rd yr, time is gold. Bawal pasaway. Sunod sa rules kahit labag sa loob mo. Whether you like it or not, you'll like it. 

3rd yr! Isang taon nalang ng pasakit at paghihirap, gagraduate na kami. SANA. Maipasa lang namin lahat ng major major subjects, makapag-ojt both broad and print, tas matapos ang thesis, oks na! Bawing bawi na! Ayoko mag-waiver. Ayoko na bumalik sa PCU para lang sa thesis. Nasa bucketlist ko ang makatapos. Kaya ngayon, nagsisipag na ko. NO to destructions  and bullshits. I'm keeping myself close to people with positivity. Layo-layo muna sa mga hindi nakakatulong hangga't may time. Bahala sila.  

;)

Confessions

Bibitaw na ko. Hindi naman ako masaya eh. Hindi siya yung gusto ko. Wala siya sa mga standards ko. Hindi ako worth for him. Hindi ko kayang suklian mga pinapakita niya.Hindi ako ang para sakanya. Hanggang "Bestfriends" lang ang kaya kong i-afford. Nag-expect siya ng more than that dahil sa pinakita ko. Akala niya the feeling is mutual. It's my fault. Sana bumalik na kami sa dati. Sasaktan ko lang siya pag tinuloy pa 'to. Wala talaga eh. At the end of the day, hindi siya yung nasa isip ko. It's not him I want to end up with. SORRY BUT NOT SORRY. 

062813

After 3 years of being stuck  to my pathetic EX boyfriend who broke my heart, I can feel that "kilig feeling" again. He fetched me to school (of course there's that meet and greet with my friends and he's shy daw asar!) and accompanied me to home. We rode on a bus, talking, laughing for one hour (he even said "sana traffic" ugh), walked from the tricycle station up to my house. I let him go inside our small house because there's no one inside, but my cousin saw him that made me introduced him to him. We stayed there for whom 20 minutes, make him eat, drink and rest for a while. We had our "kulitan moments" until I let him go home. By then, i'm the one who accompany him to the bus stop. We walked again for minutes while having our kulitan. When we are waiting, he placed his arms on my side and I placed mine on his shoulders. And when the bus came, we said our goodbyes to each other and guess what? He kissed me, but just on the hair!! But it's... :">

UGH

Where will I start? Uhm.. okay. here it goes. Si ano kase, he has that "something" for me. And then he's, you know sweet, but it's unusual for me because we like to brawl with each other. And then.... Putangina, may nanliligaw sakin pero ewan ko kung matutuwa ba ko or what!!! Feeling ko ang unfair ko sakanya pag pinagpatuloy ko pa 'to! Puta, second chance na 'to! Hindi kami natuloy nung 4th yr ako dahil sa hayup na D na yan dahil di ako maka-move on sakanya! Pero he's still here kahit na nagka-girlfriend na siya na batchmate din namin. That's why I feel like I am being unfair to him dahil naman sa punyetang G na 'to na kahit minsan di man lang ako napansin at wala atang balak pansinin ako!! Yung hindi man lang niya alam kung gano ko siya kagusto at mahigit isang taon ko na siya hinihiling kay Lord at pinagbubuhusan ng efforts!!!! Deputa! Eto paaa... Feeling ko he's just bored or I was his option slash second choice slash rebound girl dahil niloko siya nung ex niya!! Langya!! Pero I know him, at alam ko kung sincere siya or hindi. Hindi pa kami pero nagakakaganto na ko, pano pa kaya if ever sagutin ko siya, baka mas mabilis pa sa wedding ni Kim Kardashian at Kris Humphries yung relationship namin dahil sa kagagahan ko! Sayang effort niya sakin if I'll stay like this.  I'm not worth his time and effort and everything. Isa pa... yung sasabihin ng iba! Ang hirap pag maliit lang yung mundong ginagalawan niyo, not literally. Pero yung group of friends niyo. Although may bagong bf na yung ex niya na niloko siya, I'm still sure that there's still a part of her na ayaw niya maging masaya yung ex niya at magpapaka-selfish muna siya. So, in the end, magagalit siya sakin at pag-uusapan ng mga friends niyang walang ginawa kundi mag-pacute at mag-babytalk kasama na din yung boyfriend niyang tropa ng ex niya! Leche. Nakakaloko! Haaaaaaayyyy! What should I do?! Hiniling ko 'to eh! But not complicated like this! Smh. 

Motivated!

"I'm not sure where I want to go, or who I want to be. All I know is that, ten years from now, I hope that I am happy."

Motivations... Motivations... Motivations! I'm getting too much of it from the people around me. Just so you know,  3rd yr college na po ako. I'm currently in the state of "knowing who you are and who you want to be." I'm few more steps to real life. You know, work, jobs, family, real things. And gusto ko na marating yun. I want to graduate, have the job that I love, have my own family, gusto ko makabawi sa parents ko and to those who helped us when we are in need. I want to buy those things na hindi ko makuha nung nag-aaral pa ko. I want to treat myself and my siblings and my friends from my very first paycheck. Kahit gano pa siya kaliit. I want to live a wealthy life! Who doesn't? And I just want to be happy when the time comes. And that's what keeps me motivated. I remember my relatives everytime na pinupuri nila ko at pinagmamalaki sa iba kong pinsan and kahit sa ibang tao kasi masipag daw ako mag-aral. Meron pa nga na my tita made me an example for my cousin to study hard. I heard her telling my tito, "Alam mo ba ginagawa kong model yang si Badeth kay Yuki! Sabi ko, gayahin niya Ate Badeth niya! Aral muna bago mag-boyfriend!" My titas even make me a tutor of their kids. Although it's not that hard kase I'm years ahead to them. Mga basic, ganun. And I'm telling them naman if I can't help them or if I don't know what's the answer. They even make me do this, do that, as if I know everything. I love helping! It's just that they have a high expectation when it comes to me. Ugh, if only they know. Napangiti ako that time. Naisip ko, may mga tao pa palang naniniwala sakin. Sa kakayahan ko. Masipag naman akong mag-aral eh. Nung elementary and highschool. But nung college, di ko na masyado kinakaya lahat. Ewan ko, kinukulang ako sa effort. No more spoon-feeding na kase. Tsaka ikaw na talaga ang bahala sa buhay mo. It's up to you kung gagawin mo lahat or makikisabay ka sa agos or wala. As in wala. Pag nakakakuha ko ng 3, masaya na ko. Ika nga nila, di baleng hindi mataas basta pasado. Ganyan sa college. Pero habang tumatagal, nahihiya kong ipalita mga classcards kong nagmumura sa 2.50, 2.75, 3.00 sa parents ko. Hindi kase ganun ang expectation nila sakin. I think I will disappoint them. Not only my parents, but my relatives who believe in me. Taray ko, diba? Dami supporters. Kaya simula nun, I realized that I need to stusy harder. Not just hard, but HARDER. Pero isa lang makakatulong sakin. Me, myself and I. Kaya naisipan kong magsipag na sa pag-aaral simula ngayong sem. Hindi ko lang naisipan, syempre kelangan kong gawin. I need a change! If I want something good for me in the future, I need to start as early as possible. I need to start now! Gusto kong may mapatunayan sa lahat. Ayoko madisappoint mga taong andyan para sumuporta. Gusto ko magamit lahat ng pinaghirapan ko habang nag-aaral. I want my family to be proud of me even once in my life. I want to pay them back. Gusto ko magsuot ng black na toga while holding my diploma. I want to work not just for a living, but to be satisfied and be contented. Ayoko magsisi sa bandang huli. I just want to be happy and successful. That's all I want. Is that too much to ask for? B.

3 days.

"What our closest friends do for us is to teach us true selflessness. We learn that while we might be safer for them if we keep them out, but true friendship means letting them in. We cannot decide for them what they are willing to suffer with us and for us. While we certainly don't want to see our friends suffer. Friendship isn't about protecting each other from pain as it is about helping each other during pain." B.

D.

Okaaaay. Will have a short blog dedicated to HIM. I shouldn't talking about him anymore, but I can't help it. Well, he's been a part of my life BEFORE, so no big deal. 

If you read my blogpost "second <\3," he's my first heartbreak that I'm talking about. Let's call him D. I will not mention his full name for some safety. Hehe. But if you're my highschool friend, cousin, or VERY close friend, you already know who I'm talking about when I say D.

I have a lot of flings when I was in highschool. Yes. Flings, MUs, etc. Landi lang, diba? Lol. Pero good thing about it, I never have any commitments to anyone of them. We became close friends, actually. And never akong gumawa ng first move para landiin nila ko. Aminin man natin o hinde, masaya yung ganun. Puro flings lang. Pero syempre, may konting part sayo na aasa ka na sana mag-work out kahit walang commitment. That's what highschool is all about. 

I met D when I was in my Junior year. He's my bestie's crush. Pinakilala niya sakin and I found out na classmate siya ng cousin ko. Ironic, isn't it? Edi we became friends. Malaking tulong din na classmate siya ng pinsan ko kasi, tuwing may lakwatsa or whatsoever, lagi ko lang excuse na kasama ko siya. D introduced me to his friends. 4 boys (which is one of the best group of boys that I love and I'l never forget haha) and 4 girls including my cousin. And did you know that 3 of the boys are also my flings before. Hahaha. Except 1 because my gf siya that time which is tropa din nila. Ewan ko bakit lakas ko maka-magnet ng boylets, eh di naman ako chix nun. Haha. So, ayun. We all became close at naging tropa na din nila ko. Lagi kaming tambay sa pacheco (only hccsians know that place mehehe) pag uwian at pag walang lakad ang pokers. Ang unang ka-fling ko nun sa tropa niya ay si *tooot* hahahaha. He courted me pero di ko siya sinagot and you know? I regret that day nung narealize kong ok pala siya. Haaay, regrets. Ok. Next is *tooooot* naging ka-MU ko siya. Kala ko nga dadating kami sa part na magkakaron na ng "something" pero biglang ewan. Lumabo bigla. Tas si *toooot* tinanong lang niya ko kung may chance, eh ex siya ng pinsan ko kaya a big NO NO. Ok pa naman sana siya, sayang. Hahaha. Kung sobrang landi ko lang edi pinatos ko na yun. Lol. And then D enters my fairytale. Sa kanilang lahat, sakanya ko nakita yung "spark" haha so highschool. We have an endearment, Honeybunch. Hahahahahaha! Lagi kaming nasa kanila pag shortened period. Inuman, you know? Haha. Alam naming may something saming dalawa at alam naming nararamdaman yun ng tropa kaya inaasar nila kami at kinukulit kung kami na daw ba. That time, we act like bf-gf pero hindi kami. May gf siya pero hinahatid niya ko samin. Hindi namin tinataksil ang gf niya. We're bestfriends that time. Pag may problema sila, sakin niya unang sinasabi. Until we found out na tina-timer siya nung girl sa 2 yrs nitong bf. Awww.  Ang tanga niya pa nun kasi ayaw niyang maniwala until siya na mismo ang nakakita. I'm his comfort zone that time. His shoulders to lean on. Sobrang close na namin. Sobrang sweet niya pa. We had our first date February 2010 with the pokers, pero di pa kami nun. Naging kami a day before my JS prom when he asked me if we can make the things official. Nakaramdam din siguro. Hahaha! Dahil sobrang tagal na namin naglalandian, di ko na pinatagal pa. Oo, wala pang isang araw o isang oras niya kong niligawan. Ba't ba? Haha. We became official Feb. 20 Pinakilala niya din pala ko sa family niya nung birthday niya, Jan 19, so di pa kami nun. Kakabreak lang nila. So, it means... isa kong dakilang REBOUND girlfriend. Ouch. Pero di ko naisip yun that time kase alam kong nafall na kami parehas although mapapansin mong may part pa sakanya na nasasaktan padin siya. He even asked me to have sex on him. Like, wth do you think I am?  Am I that easy-to-get-highschooler Bitch? Kahit na sabihin kong mahal ko siya, di padin ako papayag. Respeto! Ganun lang gusto ko. Pero, hindi siya manyak na tao. Ewan ko kung bakit pumasok sa isip niya yung mga bagay na yun. Syempre di ako pumayag. Kadiri kaya! Tsaka 15 lang ako nun noh. Ayoko nga maging teenage parent. Madami pa kong pangarap sa buhay. Yung magkaanak, nasa huli pa yan. Ulul siya sa part na yun. Wrong move siya. HAHA. We lasted for 3 mos only. Hindi rin nag-work out diba? Biglaan kase. We broke up for unknown reason, after kasi nung gabing yun, di na kami ulit nagusap. Nasayang lahat. Ayun yung masakit na part. Pero ganun daw talaga. Highschool life, eh? Just be happy na naramdaman ko yun kahit papano.

After nun, 4thyr na ko. Medyo naka-move on na lahat. Lalo na siya. After a month, or wala pang 1 month, eh nagka-gf kagad siya. Galing! Haha. Another rebound girl. Haha. Madami na ding nagtry manligaw sakin. Try lang, kasi di rin naman sila uubra. Ewan ko. Simula nung break-up namin, I don't like entertaining admirers anymore. Para di awkward, totropahin ko nalang sila, para cute. Mehehe. Minsan pa nga, tropa ko pa nanliligaw eh. Syempre, I'll say to them straight to the point na magttotropa kami at walang talo-talo. Hehe. Nagpatuloy din manligaw si *tooooot* sakin. Tropa ni D. One of his bestfriend. Yeah. Kaya di ko siya sinagot. Gusto ko sana kaso, ang pangit talagang tignan at pakinggan. So, we remain as close friends at I helped him to find a girfriend. I'm such a dork. Haha. Simula nung break-up, feeling ko naging man-hater na ko. Pero hindi. Sa dami ng boylets ko, man-hater pa ko ng lagay na yun? Hahaha. Ayoko lang ng relationshits. Siguro, di pa ngayon. Gusto ko na pero di pa ko ready. Kaya tinutuon ko yung oras ko sa lalaking wala namang paki. Pero at least napapansin niya ko. Hihi. 

Kung bakit wala pa kong boyfriend hanggang ngayon, ayun ay dahil kay D. Pero hindi dahil may feelings pa ko sakanya. Pero dahil tumaas ang standards ko sa mga boys at natuto na ko mag-ingat. But I'm happy that he's happy now. I think she finally found a long-lasting relationship with his highschool classmate. Siya na pinakamatagal na gf ni D. Just like what he always telling me before that he got on Enrile's tv campaign, "Gusto ko, happy ka!" And yes, hopefully, I will be. :) B.