I WANT A BREAK FROM ALL THESE BULLSHITS!! UGH! SUMMER, PLEASE?! :-"

Oops, wait. I still have a "summer getaway" with them, so how can I get my break from all these bullshits? Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh! If only I could..... wooooooo!! :( FML! -___________________________-

Shuffled.

Just Give Me A Reason

by Pink

Right from the start 

You were a thief

You stole my heart

And I, your willing victim

Just give me a reason

Just a little bit's enough

Just a second, we're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

It's in the stars

It's been written in the scars of our heart

We're not broken just bent

And we can learn to love again

Highschool Friends >

"Don't trust on people easily pagdating mo ng college. There's a lot of bitches, backstabbers and plastics everywhere. Mag-ingat ka sa mga pagkakatiwalaan mo, dahil hindi lahat ng makikilala mo dun totoo."  I forgot who told me this before entering college. Before, I was like, "wehhh?? hindi naman siguro. feeling mo lang yun." Because honestly, I thought highschool people and college people are likely the same, but unfortunately, it's NOT. So, whoever angel in disguise told me that thing, Thanks for reminding me. I want to find you and give you my BIG hug! >:D< Lol.

I don't know where are my original college friends go. I've been dealing with the unknown group since... I don't know. They changed a lot. Iba na yung nafefeel ko ngayon pag kasama ko sila, unlike before. Dati, gustong gusto ko sila kasama kesa sa family ko. Naeexcite ako pumasok ng school dahil sakanila. Madaming nakakatawang memories. Kaya tuwing naaalala ko yung sinabi nung "angel in disguise", sinasabi kong mali siya ng inakala. Mas madaming friends sa college, mas masaya. Lahat sila totoo. Until one day, nagbago pananaw ko. Ewan ko. Suddenly, bigla ko nalang naisip na MAS better padin ang highschool friends ko. Kahit bihira na kaming magkita-kita dahil nga sa schedule, ramdam ko pading andun yung feeling na forever lang silang andyan. Kaya kung magkita-kita kami, grabe. Kulang ang isang linggo para magkasawaan kami sa kwento. Haha! Kaya dati, kung naeexcite ako sakanila, ngayon gusto ko na silang taguan. Gusto ko na humiwalay pero di ko kaya. Kasi nga, sila na kasama since nag-college ako. Dahil na din siguro sa mga jowa nila na magtotropa kaya ayoko na sumama sakanila. Hindi sa naiinggit ako or what. Nakaka-OP na kasi pag nag-kkwentuhan sila tungkol dun. Eh, anong ikkwento ko? Diba? Kaya minsan, nananahimik nalang ako, lumalayo, minsan nakikiepal na kunyari interisado sa mga boylets nila. Meron kasing isa samin na gusto niya, jowa naming lahat ng tropa ng jowa niya. Eh, pano kung ayaw mo sa mga yun? Ang hirap sakanya, ipapafeel niya sayo na ikaw lang ang naiiba. Na forever alone ka kasi hindi mo jowa ang isa sa mga tropa. Bullshit. Nakakairita minsan. Kaya nagdadalawang isip na ko kung sasama pa ko sa nueva ecija trip nila. Alam ko namang hindi nila maiintidihan dahilan  ko dahil nga yung kilay ko, mas mataas pa sa mga IQ nila. (Alam kong may babasa nito pero lampake) Ang hirap din kasi sa kanila, pag gusto nilang mangyari, gusto nila. Di muna nila itatanong kung ok lang ba. Tss. Badtrip.

Yung mga friends ko ngayon, di ko na sila kilala. Masaya naman kami dati eh. Simple, makulit, hindi komplikado. Kaso habang tumatanda kami, nagkakandaleche-leche na lahat. Isa pang roblema sakanila, they're too loud. Alam kong maiingay na talaga sila. Pero minsan, sobra na. Hindi na kami mga 13 yrs old para humarot ng ganun. DUUUH. Ako na ang pinaka-bata, ako pa ang ganito mag-isip. Gaaahhhd. Ako lang ang walang jowa pero feeling ko mas mature pa ko sakanila. Ang haharot nila minsan na wala na sa lugar at di ko na kayang sabayan ang trip nila dahil nakakairita at hindi nakaktuwa. Kaya tinatawg nil kong "YAMOT" dahil minsan, naiinis na ko sakanila at wala na kong magawa kundi sumimangot at sarilinin nalang lahat. I studied highschool at Tondo where andun mga tarantadong mga tao. Pero hindi sumosobra sa limit ang mga kagaguhan namin nun. Babae kami kumilos kahit puro lalaki tropa namin. Walang arte sa katawan. Simple. Masaya. May kontrol ang bunganga. At dahil sa mga nangyayari ngayon, mas lalo kong naiintidihan yung sinabi nung "angel in disguise". Hindi sa sinasabi kong plastics, backstabbers, or whatever you call it sila. Ang sakin lang, ang hirap nilang intindihin at pakisamahan. Hindi naman lahat. Hindi ko na talaga alam. Basta ang alam ko, highschool friends padin talaga. Forever and ever. Walang plastikan, walang sapawan, hindi ka paguusapan pag nakatalikod ka na, hindi ka io-op, hindi ka kakalimutan kahit may jowa na sila. People change and friends leave, but that is not an excuse para intindihan  lahat ng kaibigan mo. One thing I learned in college, Hindi araw-araw kaibigan mo talaga ang mga kaibigan mo. Hihintayin ko nalang maka-graduate ako. Iisipin ko nalang ang studies kesa sakanila. Pakikisama ang natitirang meron ako para sakanila. Ganun nalang hanggang makawala sa mundong meron ako ngayon. :)

Message to my college friends, TANGINA NIYONG LAHAT WITH FEELINGS. ♥ Message to my highschool friends, HAYUP KAYO. MAGPAKITA NAMAN KAYO PAG MAY TIME. MISSING YOU ALL!!! Kayo padin kasi kayo lang naman talaga. Ajuju. :3 Mahal ko kayo! :)

Shuffled.

Hey Stephen

by Taylor Swift

Cause I can't help it if you look like an Angel

Can't help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain, So

Come feel this magic I've been feeling since I met you

Can't help it if there's no one else

Hmmm, I can't help myself

Hmmmm hmmm hmm hmm hmmh hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmmm hmm

Shuffled.

She's so mean

(Matchbox20)

I kn-kn-know a girl, she gets what she wants all the time
'Cause she's fine
But for an angel, she's a hot hot mess
Make you so blind
But you don't mind

'Cause she's an uptown, get-around, anything-goes girl, girl
She's a hardcore, candy-store, gimme-some-more girl, girl

She'll make you take her to the club, but then she leaves with her friends
She likes to stay late at the party, 'cause the fun never ends
And all her clothes are on the floor and all your records are scratched
She's like a one-way ticket 'cause you can't come back!

Saying yeah... you want her, but she's so mean
(You’ll never let her go. Why don’t you let her go?)
Yeah... you want her, but she's so mean
(You’ll never let her go. Why don’t you let her go?)

Every now and then, she makes you just a little bit crazy
She’ll turn a knife into your back and then she’s calling you baby, crazy

Shuffled.

Better Than Revenge 

by Taylor Swift

Now go stand in the corner and think about what you did Ha! Time for a little revenge

The story starts when it was hot and it was summer and
I had it all, I had him right there where I wanted him
She came along, got him alone and let's hear the applause
She took him faster than you could say sabotage

I never saw it coming, wouldn't have suspected it
I underestimated just who I was dealing with
She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum
She underestimated just who she was stealing from

She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge

She looks at life like it's a party and she's on the list
She looks at me like I'm a trend and she's so over it
I think her ever-present frown is a little troubling
And she thinks I'm psycho 'cause I like to rhyme her name with things

But sophistication isn't what you wear or who you know
Or pushing people down to get you where you wanna go
They wouldn't teach you that in prep school so it's up to me
But no amount of vintage dresses gives you dignity

She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge

I'm just another thing for you
To roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him but haven't you heard
I'm just another thing for you
To roll your eyes at, honey
You might have him but I always get the last word
Whoa

She's not a saint
And she's not what you think
She's an actress, whoa
She's better known
For the things that she does
On the mattress, whoa
Soon she's gonna find
Stealing other people's toys
On the playground won't
Make you many friends
She should keep in mind
She should keep in mind
There is nothing I do better than revenge

Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
'Cause I don't think you do. Oh.
Do you still feel like you know what you're doing?
I don't think you do
I don't think you do

Let's hear the applause
Come on show me how much better you are (so much better, yeah)
So you deserve some applause 'cause you're so much better
She took him faster than you could say sabotage

Second <\3

That moment when you thought you already experienced the most heartbreaking moment in your life, but it's not only like that. It's just one of the hundreds or thousands of heartbreaks that you will feel. Heartbreaking, isn't it?

It just made me realize that people can hurt you without them knowing that they are already hurting you because they don't care about you and they don't give a fuck about it, either.

I had my first heartbreak when I was 15. Everyone knows how highschool life's so exciting and fun and full of "first" and experiences and emotions and feelings. I had my first boyfriend when I was 14. So basically, that was not my first heartbreak. Because I said that I had it when I was 15. Just clearing things up. ;) Okay. Back to my first boyfriend. I'm 2nd year HS that time. He was my bandmate on our drum & lyre band on our church. We don't start as friends as far as I remember. He courted me very fast, but I answer him base on the date that I want. So, he waited for a bit long time. I guess? HAHA. Since I was so young that time, I don't have any idea any experience about relationships, boyfriend-girlfriend thing, flings and love. So I just go with the flow. I feel some "kilig" whenever he holds my hand and whenever we're together. I will not make this story long. So yeah, I broke up with him after a month through friendster. HAHAHAHA. (So very jej, I know, but forgive me, i'm still young and there's no facebook that time! Lol.) Okay. I broke up with him because I don't love him. From the very start. I think i'm just only "nadala" because I want to know how it feels to have a boyfriend. I know I don't have feelings for him because I don't know what is love that time. How does it feel or how does it work out in relationships. Things like that. But I know I have a feelings for him, just a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. After a year, we became friends again. He wants me back, but I refuse. I don't know. I really don't have any feelings for him. The feeling is not mutual. So, we remain as friends. And i'm happy for that. And of course a little part of me got hurt when I broke up with him because I made him sad and cry. (That's what his friends told me after) but it's no big deal. Yea.

Here's the first. After my 1st boyfriend, I had my 2nd boyfriend a year after. So, I'm in 3rd yr HS that time, (my favorite part of being a high school). Don't ask why. Hehe. We started as friends, then turned into "bestfriends". We used to go out with his friends after class and then he will accompany me to our house. The funny part is that he has a girlfriend that time. But the girl took him for granted and left him for another guy. She two-timed him. She's a bitch. Ok. It's my story, not hers. We are like that for a couple of months until we become so close. I don't feel anything for him that time. He's a good friend. Some of his friends courted me, but none of them became my boyfriend. I don't know why. Maybe because they're not my type. Haha! We used to go to their house every first friday and shortened period with his friends. He and his girlfriend lasted  for only 4 months. 4 months of "unfaithfulness" To make this story short, we became a couple at the month of February 2010. They broke up January 2010, so basically, I'm a rebound girlfriend. Sad to admit, but it's true. And I don't care. He brought me to their house on his birthday and I met his parents and some relatives. That feeling when you know that his family like you. Especially his mom. <3 Ok, moveD on. And we lasted for only 3 months for unknown reason. We broke up to the time when I really love him. "My first love broke my heart for the first time." YES. First for first. It made me cry. It hurts. That's my first heartbreak. But I guess it happened for a reason. Even though I didn't know what's that fcking reason. Hmmkay.

So the second, and I hope would be the last, but definitely not, is this year. If you're reading my previous posts, the person behind it is the same person behind my second heartbreak. He's not mine. We're not really together and he doesn't even know me personally. Seems legit, huh? But he's the person who makes me feel the same thing that I felt after my 2nd boyfriend and I broke up. I know I'm kinda emotional when it comes to him while he doesn't give a damn about me. All I know is that he's the one that I want to end up with. He's the one that I will introduce to my family, friends and to everyone. He's the one who will stand beside me in front of God. I know it's too early to say those things, but I don't care. And he doesn't care either. I want him so badly. And I hope he wants me that bad too. This heartache started when I saw him with somebody else. You know? That feeling when you saw the one you like, liking somebody else. UGH. Douche. Don't wanna make this long. It's just making me feel numb. Hehe. -.- It's just kinda weird because we don't have any "relationship" but i'm still feeling this way. That's why my friends are always telling me, "Ang assuming mo, girl!" "feeling mo naging kayo?" "Bitter!" and so many bullshits. Well, it doesn't change everything I feel. HEARTBREAKING. 

Still hoping for "US," though. *sigh*