Remember the last thing that I blogged here is about my COLLEGE FRIENDS. It's been a month exactly today. WOW. Coincidence. That was September 19 and now is October 19. Keewl. I said in that blog post that I will post our kabaliwan soon. Our photos that we took almost everyday, our stories, jokes, and everything that we talk about everyday, every minute. Well, I don't think I will do it anymore. I don't know.. biglang nawala lahat ng pinagkaingatan ko. Yung isang araw, magugulat ka nalang, everyone hates you. They post they anger towards you. Pinaparinggan ka na, nilalait ka pa. Masakit. I'm hurt. So much hurt. I was crying last night because I can't help it. I ate a lot of sweets just to feel comforted. I was praying last night and thinking what I did wrong to them, why they suddenly hate me. Ang alam kong ginawa ko, is di ako sumama sa outing namin. Because of 3 reasons. First, sobrang daming gagawin at di kaya ng Monday. Second, wala pa kong pera. I have money, but not enough. And lastly, dahil sa nangyari. Supposedly, susunod ako kinabukasan. Pero dahil sa nangyari, I changed my mind. Di maganda pag sumunod pa ko. Awkward. Kasi alam ko, pinaguusapan na nila ko dun. Masakit isipin na ganun ang nangyayari. Okay naman talaga kami eh. The last thing I remember, we're laughing and throwing jokes at each other and then they don't talk to me suddenly. Di ko alam ano nagawa kong sobrang big deal sakanila. I thought they can handle me at my worst dahil we're friends since we're at our first years. Simula nun, lagi na kaming magkakasama sa lahat ng bagay. Tapos, everything will fall apart ng biglaan. Di ko na alam... Naalala ko si _______. Siya ng pinaka-una kong friend sa college. I can still remember our first encounter. The place, her face, and even our first conversation. HAHA! Pero ngayon, parang mawawala na lahat. Dahil lang sa di pagkakaintindihan. Pati si ________. Kahit nakakabwiset siya at all times, kahit may pagkamasama ugali niya, kahit she's too loud, kahit laitera siya... I accept her as my friend. I accepted her flaws. THEIR flaws, either. Friend ko padin naman sila eh. Di naman ako nagtatanim ng sama ng loob. I'm not that type of person. Magagalit ako pero just a short period of time. Masakit lang talaga sa ngayon. Nalulungkot ako. Kanina, I was crying again. But kasama ko si ____. Alam kong she'll understand me. Nafeel na niya nafefeel ko eh. Umiiyak lang ako habang nagkkwento. Siya naman, nakikinig lang. Walang angal. I feel comforted pag ganun. May makinig at makaunawa lang sakin, okay na ko. At least alam kong kahit papano, someone can understand me. Yung hindi sila pumapanig sa isang side lang. Ganun din si _______. Naiintindihan niya ko. Okay na yun. Andyan din naman si _______ at si _________. Di sila nakikisali. Instead, pinagbabati pa kami. Pero I don't think maayos pa 'to. I know them well. Their attitudes. Their PRIDES. Haaay. I'm crying again. I feel so down and depressed. Tapos stressed pa. Buti nalang we will have a party on sunday with my highschool friends. I feel relieved. After nun, iisipin ko nanaman kung pano ko sila haharapin sa school. Even ________, ________, ________, ________ and ________. I know they hate me. Naiinis sila sakin. Sabe. Buti nalang sembreak na. Medyo lalamig ang sitwasyon at maiiwasan ko din sila. I can think clearly. Naiisip ko nga, lipat kaya kong school? Kaso, sayang naman lahat ng pinaghirapan ko dun. Pati na din yung ibang friends na maiiwan ko dun. I feel so helpless right now. I can still manage to smile, but my one friend knows i'm not that happy. Alam niyang fake lahat ng smileys na nirereply ko sakanya. Nawalan din ako ng appetite. Iba talaga pag friends ang nawala. Mas masaklap kesa sa mawalan ka ng boyfriend. Mas madaming luhang mawawala. Mas madaming time na malungkot ka. Well, ano pa nga ba magagawa ko? The damage has been done. Sana lang wag na lumaki pa. I love my friends so much. Kumabaga, sila ang comforter ko. Pag stressed ako sa bahay, isipin ko lang na makikita at makakakwentuhan ko sila bukas, stress free na ko. Naalala ko yung movie na "The Reunion". Ayun ang first movie na pinanuod namin together as friends. And that is a story of friendship. Nagkagulo man sila, but at the end of the day, they remain as friends. Sana ganun kami. Isang SORRY lang naman gusto ko eh. I know demanding ako at mahirap ang hinihingi ko. Pero kung ayun ang makakapag-ayos ng lahat, why not give a one? Diba? I'm willing to say sorry naman eh. I know nagmaldita ko. And don't have any regrets. Sana maging okay na. Sana makalimot na ang lahat. Sana wala ng gulo. Sana katulad padin kami ng dati. Yung masaya, puro tawa, walang iwanan, puro gaguhan, kainan, kwentuhan, murahan, laitan, kiligan. Haaaaay. :( I don't think mababasa nila 'to. And I know ayaw nila sa madrama at napakahabang babasahin. Mga tamad kaya yung mg yun. HAHA! Maybe _____ will read this. Pero I don't think na nabibisita pa siya dito. More tumblr siya/sila eh. So, Dear whoever reading this, please tell my friends what i'm afraid to say. I love them to bits. I'm sorry if I acted like a mess. If I annoyed them and pushed them to limits. I didn't meant to ruined our friendships. They're my sisters and brothers. My comforters. My happy pill. My human diary. My mirror. My BESTFRIENDS. I will miss you, guise, balatubas, ulupong, girlfriends, my TROPANG BIGATIN. ♥ *sobs*
You can count on me like 123, I'll be there
And I know when I needed
I can count on you like 432, you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeaaah.
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