Shuffled.

That you should've bought me flowers 

and held my hand

Should've gave me all your hours 

when you had the chance

Take me to every party cause I wanted to do was dance

Now your baby is dancing

But I'm dancing with another man

Too young

Too dumb

To realize

meanie me ;)

In my 17 years of existence, I learned that HATE is such a strong word. And I decided to use UNLIKE more often. So, let me rephrase it, "I don't hate you. I just don't like you." It's two different words.

Throwback

May 6, 2012. 
It's been a year since this memorable moment for the Purefoods franchise, the BMEG Planet and mostly to Denzel Bowles happened. If you're a fan of Bmeg or even a TnT fan, you surely know this very emotional and crucial moment. If you're a ka-planeta, you surely love what happened. And if you're a ka-tropa, we surely know that this is a nightmare.

I can still remember this day. A sad day for me because I want to watch Game 7/last game of Commissioners Cup finals of Bmeg Llamados and TNT Tropang Texters, but we went to Bulacan and QC for some family matters. While we were in the car going home, we turn on the radio and put it on the station where they have a live coverage of the game. (i don't know what station it is) I forgot what quarter it is, but I can hear the noise of the fans and the commentators mentioning every bit of the game. We are all quiet inside the car because it is so hard to understand what the commentators are saying because it is an AM station. (Malabo pag AM station) So, every time the commentators mention anyone from bmeg who gets a point, dun lang kami mag-iingay. Usually, "Woooh!", "Yes!!", but me, mas bumibilis ang heartbeat ko. Idunno. Maybe cause of happiness, excitement, kaba. Ewan. So, nung nasa house na kami, takbo agad sila sa harap ng tv. Pero ako sa cr tumakbo for some ugh reasons. Hahahaha. Naabutan naming part, eh yung part that changed the destiny of the llamados. Yung part na muntik magpagiba sa Araneta because of the happiest fans on earth at that moment.  Yung part na nagpa-iyak kay Bowles at Cap Alvin pati na din buong bmeg planet. Etong part na 'to: 

Bowles' clutch freethrows. 2 shots that will tie the game. For him, do or die na ang shot na 'to. This is a chance that God has given to bmeg. Kung di maipasok, wala. Kaya grabe nalang ang emotion ng bawat isa. For only a few seconds, na-foul si Bowles so he needs to take 2 freethrows na magsasalba sa kanila and will lead them to OT. Hindi pa nga narinig yung pito ng referee dahil sa ingay sa loob. Syempre intense na. James Yap missed his shot. Bowles with a rebound and putback but missed it also. They thought TnT got the W. But the refs reviewed the last sequence and they found out na na-foul si Bowles. As you can see, namumugto na mga mata ni bowles bago pa man siya mag-freethrow. So, nung first try.. Pasok! Konti nalang iiyak na siya. I bet he's shaking that time. Kahit sino mangangatog pag nasayo ang pag-asa para manalo. He takes the second shot and made it! Bowles breakdown at that moment as well as the captain. Cap hugged him and all his teammates hugged him also. And the fans are chanting "B-MEG! B-MEG! " Yung moment na nilamon nila ng buo yung TnT fans. Lahat naging emotional. Kami sa bahay, sobrang saya. Sobrang ingay. May torotot pa nga kami nun eh. Hahaha! The one that we used during newyear. And I'll admit it, naluha ako sa part na yun. Ayoko umiyak kasi mejo OA. Pero that freethrows are the best freethrows EVER. Freethrows that made us all happy. Freethrows na nagpaluha sakin at sa mga ka-planeta. Napaka-memorable. I love you, Bowles. You're worth the"Best Import" award. 

Here we go the overtime. Bawal makampante. Tuloy ang laban. 5 more minutes until we get there. Konting push nalang. Siguro nga it's for them talaga. Kasi mga shots ng TnT, di na pumapasok. Daming na-injured na players nila. Daming na-fouled out including their import. Wala na. Humina na yung signal sa loob. Hindi para sakanila 'to. Para sa Bmeg 'to. Para malinaw, eto: 

Overtime. Ang saya  diba? Tuluyan na naging "Monster" si MonsterBowles. He's UnstoppaBowles. He's loving the moment. Para sakanya yun. The spotlights are on him. Siya ang bida. Siya ang hero. Basta napaka-saya. Ang sarap matulog. Ang sarap kumain. Nakakatuwa. Kaya lalong minahal ko ang team na 'to. Feeling ko nga kasama na ko sa coaching staff eh. Hahaha. We are the happiest fans on Earth that night. Ano ang umiral? PUSO. (♥) 

--

Wanna know why I throwback this? Pinanood ko kasi 'to after ng game nila kanina. I still get goosebumps. At naluluha padin ako pag pinapanuod 'to. Haha. Talo kasi sila ngayon. Di sila nakapasok sa finals. Di nila nadefend yung crown. Yung crown na pinaghirapan nila a year ago. Madaming drama all over the conf. Madaming injuries. Madaming failures. Madaming trades. Ang daming nawala this conf. Josh, Jc and Jonas. They're traded for Najorda, Mallari and Alvarez. I don't know kung ano strategy ni coach Tim at nilipat niya yung 3 magagaling na players niya, although sabi nila magaling naman yung pumalit. Si Mallari palang naa-appreciate ko. Najorda... hmmm kinda. Alvarez.. kinda bangko. Hehe. Pero pag pinasok naman siya, keri naman niya. They started 0-3. Olats na olats. Di pa si Bowles unang import kasi nasa China pa siya that time pero nagbalik siya. And the team ended up on 3rd. Nasa ilalim, napunta sa itaas. Yan ang boylets ko! Hehehe. Di ko sinisisi si Coach Tim kung bakit inconsistent sila this conf. He's my favorite coach aside from Coach Richard. Hahahaha. Coach Tim has the heart of a champion. No dirty tactics. Pure basketball. Lahat ng moves niya, may rason. Di basta basta. He's the Coach who has the most number of championships. Way back nung nasa Alaska pa siya, which is the team na nakatalo sakanila ngayon. Ngayon lang nanalo Alaska sa bmeg/smc since Tim Cone left them. Walang dapat sisihin. Nag-iba kasi sila ng line-up ngayon kaya di pa makuha ang tamang timpla. At naniniwala kami na next conf, babawi sila ng BIGTIME. Babawi sila ni Blakely if ever siya ulit ang import. Alam na nila ang tamang timpla. Mananalo na sila. Para sakanila na 'to. Itaga niyo sa bato. Bukod sa mga boylets ko at sa mga fans, isa na ko sa pinakamalungkot na tao sa mga oras na 'to. Masakit kaya. I've been fangirling and supporting them since day 1 and I don't have regrets. Thank you Denzel for being your best this conf! The fans hope na matuloy yung "naturalization" mo para player ka na talaga ng PBA. Thank you for bringing the team to semis! Di man umabot ng finals, at di ka man ang best import, you're still our best import ever. Dami mong tinulong sa  team. Balik ka next year ha? Bring back the "monster" you! Goodluck! To the team naman, bounceback, boys! Even the best fall down sometimes, diba? Hehe. Puso lang! We have the heart of champion! Cheer up! Mas masarap padin ang kape. Hihi. xx B.

3 days.

"What our closest friends do for us is to teach us true selflessness. We learn that while we might be safer for them if we keep them out, but true friendship means letting them in. We cannot decide for them what they are willing to suffer with us and for us. While we certainly don't want to see our friends suffer. Friendship isn't about protecting each other from pain as it is about helping each other during pain." B.

D.

Okaaaay. Will have a short blog dedicated to HIM. I shouldn't talking about him anymore, but I can't help it. Well, he's been a part of my life BEFORE, so no big deal. 

If you read my blogpost "second <\3," he's my first heartbreak that I'm talking about. Let's call him D. I will not mention his full name for some safety. Hehe. But if you're my highschool friend, cousin, or VERY close friend, you already know who I'm talking about when I say D.

I have a lot of flings when I was in highschool. Yes. Flings, MUs, etc. Landi lang, diba? Lol. Pero good thing about it, I never have any commitments to anyone of them. We became close friends, actually. And never akong gumawa ng first move para landiin nila ko. Aminin man natin o hinde, masaya yung ganun. Puro flings lang. Pero syempre, may konting part sayo na aasa ka na sana mag-work out kahit walang commitment. That's what highschool is all about. 

I met D when I was in my Junior year. He's my bestie's crush. Pinakilala niya sakin and I found out na classmate siya ng cousin ko. Ironic, isn't it? Edi we became friends. Malaking tulong din na classmate siya ng pinsan ko kasi, tuwing may lakwatsa or whatsoever, lagi ko lang excuse na kasama ko siya. D introduced me to his friends. 4 boys (which is one of the best group of boys that I love and I'l never forget haha) and 4 girls including my cousin. And did you know that 3 of the boys are also my flings before. Hahaha. Except 1 because my gf siya that time which is tropa din nila. Ewan ko bakit lakas ko maka-magnet ng boylets, eh di naman ako chix nun. Haha. So, ayun. We all became close at naging tropa na din nila ko. Lagi kaming tambay sa pacheco (only hccsians know that place mehehe) pag uwian at pag walang lakad ang pokers. Ang unang ka-fling ko nun sa tropa niya ay si *tooot* hahahaha. He courted me pero di ko siya sinagot and you know? I regret that day nung narealize kong ok pala siya. Haaay, regrets. Ok. Next is *tooooot* naging ka-MU ko siya. Kala ko nga dadating kami sa part na magkakaron na ng "something" pero biglang ewan. Lumabo bigla. Tas si *toooot* tinanong lang niya ko kung may chance, eh ex siya ng pinsan ko kaya a big NO NO. Ok pa naman sana siya, sayang. Hahaha. Kung sobrang landi ko lang edi pinatos ko na yun. Lol. And then D enters my fairytale. Sa kanilang lahat, sakanya ko nakita yung "spark" haha so highschool. We have an endearment, Honeybunch. Hahahahahaha! Lagi kaming nasa kanila pag shortened period. Inuman, you know? Haha. Alam naming may something saming dalawa at alam naming nararamdaman yun ng tropa kaya inaasar nila kami at kinukulit kung kami na daw ba. That time, we act like bf-gf pero hindi kami. May gf siya pero hinahatid niya ko samin. Hindi namin tinataksil ang gf niya. We're bestfriends that time. Pag may problema sila, sakin niya unang sinasabi. Until we found out na tina-timer siya nung girl sa 2 yrs nitong bf. Awww.  Ang tanga niya pa nun kasi ayaw niyang maniwala until siya na mismo ang nakakita. I'm his comfort zone that time. His shoulders to lean on. Sobrang close na namin. Sobrang sweet niya pa. We had our first date February 2010 with the pokers, pero di pa kami nun. Naging kami a day before my JS prom when he asked me if we can make the things official. Nakaramdam din siguro. Hahaha! Dahil sobrang tagal na namin naglalandian, di ko na pinatagal pa. Oo, wala pang isang araw o isang oras niya kong niligawan. Ba't ba? Haha. We became official Feb. 20 Pinakilala niya din pala ko sa family niya nung birthday niya, Jan 19, so di pa kami nun. Kakabreak lang nila. So, it means... isa kong dakilang REBOUND girlfriend. Ouch. Pero di ko naisip yun that time kase alam kong nafall na kami parehas although mapapansin mong may part pa sakanya na nasasaktan padin siya. He even asked me to have sex on him. Like, wth do you think I am?  Am I that easy-to-get-highschooler Bitch? Kahit na sabihin kong mahal ko siya, di padin ako papayag. Respeto! Ganun lang gusto ko. Pero, hindi siya manyak na tao. Ewan ko kung bakit pumasok sa isip niya yung mga bagay na yun. Syempre di ako pumayag. Kadiri kaya! Tsaka 15 lang ako nun noh. Ayoko nga maging teenage parent. Madami pa kong pangarap sa buhay. Yung magkaanak, nasa huli pa yan. Ulul siya sa part na yun. Wrong move siya. HAHA. We lasted for 3 mos only. Hindi rin nag-work out diba? Biglaan kase. We broke up for unknown reason, after kasi nung gabing yun, di na kami ulit nagusap. Nasayang lahat. Ayun yung masakit na part. Pero ganun daw talaga. Highschool life, eh? Just be happy na naramdaman ko yun kahit papano.

After nun, 4thyr na ko. Medyo naka-move on na lahat. Lalo na siya. After a month, or wala pang 1 month, eh nagka-gf kagad siya. Galing! Haha. Another rebound girl. Haha. Madami na ding nagtry manligaw sakin. Try lang, kasi di rin naman sila uubra. Ewan ko. Simula nung break-up namin, I don't like entertaining admirers anymore. Para di awkward, totropahin ko nalang sila, para cute. Mehehe. Minsan pa nga, tropa ko pa nanliligaw eh. Syempre, I'll say to them straight to the point na magttotropa kami at walang talo-talo. Hehe. Nagpatuloy din manligaw si *tooooot* sakin. Tropa ni D. One of his bestfriend. Yeah. Kaya di ko siya sinagot. Gusto ko sana kaso, ang pangit talagang tignan at pakinggan. So, we remain as close friends at I helped him to find a girfriend. I'm such a dork. Haha. Simula nung break-up, feeling ko naging man-hater na ko. Pero hindi. Sa dami ng boylets ko, man-hater pa ko ng lagay na yun? Hahaha. Ayoko lang ng relationshits. Siguro, di pa ngayon. Gusto ko na pero di pa ko ready. Kaya tinutuon ko yung oras ko sa lalaking wala namang paki. Pero at least napapansin niya ko. Hihi. 

Kung bakit wala pa kong boyfriend hanggang ngayon, ayun ay dahil kay D. Pero hindi dahil may feelings pa ko sakanya. Pero dahil tumaas ang standards ko sa mga boys at natuto na ko mag-ingat. But I'm happy that he's happy now. I think she finally found a long-lasting relationship with his highschool classmate. Siya na pinakamatagal na gf ni D. Just like what he always telling me before that he got on Enrile's tv campaign, "Gusto ko, happy ka!" And yes, hopefully, I will be. :) B.